About following your gut feeling, missing my grandparents, beautiful views and reuniting with Mike.

November 24, 20:25

Sunsets really are good for your mental health. I’m listening to a country album Mike had send me a couple of days ago, while looking at the pelicans flying over the ocean. And I feel much calmer than I did two hours before. Somehow I felt stressed and overwhelmed with all the things I think I should be doing.

And if I want to earn money, build something for myself and maintain good relationships - I do have to do these things. But it’s me and only me who puts all this pressure on myself for having to do everything right now. I feel like I put working on myself and working towards my goals on hold for the last two months, because my parents and my cousin came traveling with me. And I feel like I should have everything done in the next month, before my sister comes to visit me. Which is of course not true. And sitting here looking at the sunset and the ocean really helps me realise that. I gét to do these things in a place of the world of my choosing at my own pace. That’s incredible lucky. Well, and deserved cause it’s also me who took the action to make this happen for myself.

November 25, 17:16

I’m eating strawberries on the beach. Next to me are children digging a hole in the sand, with a little dune around it and an open bit at the front. The water is coming in so now they’re waiting for the ocean to turn their hole into a little swimming pool. One of the girls has their leg into a casket. Not like she cares cause she jumps around like it’s not even there. Behind me is a little puppy playing in the sand and to my right an old dog staring at the ocean. Funny how aging is such a universal thing, human or animal, it doesn’t matter. We’re all kind of the same.

Earlier today I talked to Simone for almost two hours and I updated the website with another diary week. And I feel much more at peace right now than I did yesterday. Which is just so nice cause now I can enjoy sitting here like the old dog.

November 26, 11:34

It’s Sunday! Not that it matters when you’re traveling. It’s only when you have things planned like visiting a museum or going to a certain market that it matters if it’s a Sunday. Otherwise, like today, it doesn’t matter at all. Although sometimes it’s nice to pretend. Right now for example I am craving a lazy day, watching movies and eating snacks in bed. And what better day to do this than Sunday.

November 27, 12:35

I have arrived in Concón! I should have gone here straight away. Before I booked the other place in Viña del Mar, I had the feeling that this place was more my place. But I thought let’s do the easy travel destination first, maybe the touristy place is nice for a reason. But it never is. I really should start listening to my gut feeling more. Cause now I have a suuuuper chill apartment with a view and A CAT. Well, the cat is not really mine but she walked in as I entered my apartment. So cute. I talked to Simone about it recently, about being in a flow and realising when something is not for you. And I feel like Argentina, as much as I loved the landscapes of the country and the people and the food, it just wasn’t my country. Or at least I wasn’t supposed to be there at that time. Cause now it feels much lighter and easier. Or maybe I just have been sleeping more. Who knows.

November 28, 17:54

I’m wasting the day away. Not on purpose, I really did want to be productive. But the sun is not shining and it just feels a little blegh. Earlier today I bought some cheeses and toast and I just binge watched Selling Sunset.

And now I just got off the phone with my mom, which always makes me feel better. Except for today when she told me it isn’t going well with grandpa. He hasn’t been doing great for a while now, doesn’t really remember us anymore. And it’s been hard on my grandma too. Luckily they’re gonna get a few more hours of help in the house but I’m worried that soon it’s not enough and that grandpa needs to move to a place with more care, away from grandma. And that’s the last thing he wants - he made that VERY clear when he still was sharp of mind. Very selfishly, I also worry that I’m not back in The Netherlands in time to be able to spend some time with my grandparents. I’m worried I can’t say goodbye and miss another funeral, like my other grandmas. And I would like to hug my parents cause I can’t imagine what it must feel like to lose yours.

November 29, 09:45

The sun is shining! YAY! I waited for a sunny day to visit the sand dunes on the other side of town, and today it’s that day! Someone told me that the sunset is very pretty from there so I’m gonna make sure I’ll be there then. It’s a 1,5 hour walk from my apartment and you can walk most part alongside the coast with a few beaches here and there. So after I eat my go to avocado on bread breakfast I’m gonna go for a walk. I’ll bring my camera, my little notebooks, a pen, a packed lunch, my water bottle and a sweater for after the sunset. It’s gonna be a good day.

November 30, 09:34

Yesterday really was a good day. I walked almost 20km, took some nice photos and enjoyed such a pretty sunset at the sand dunes. And today is gonna be another great day for a totally different reason, cause I will see Mike again! I’m in the bus back to Santiago and he is already there waiting for me. I’m so excited! We get to spend 5 days together before he flies back to The States and I fly to (probably) Guatemala.

December 1, 21:37

We went SHOPPING. Half my clothes have holes in them, have shrunk or are just worn out. After having worn them almost daily for 9,5 months it has come to an end. So it was time for new clothes. I’m about to try them on again and mix and match everything so I can check if it’s a complete wardrobe, if I still miss some pieces or if I maybe bought some wrong clothes. I still don’t want to have a lot of clothing so I really want to make it a good capsule wardrobe. I think I still miss one t-shirt and one dress to make it complete, but after that I am good for another 9,5 months.

December 2, 17:42

We are at a cat café! After we went shopping for gifts for Mikes family at an artisan market, we found out there is a cat café in Santiago. So we just had to go. And Oh My God. THEY ARE SO CUTE. We bought a little snack for them and most cats just go crazy.

Just look at them.

LOOK.