Afraid to Open Up

When you're afraid to love again
Written By Lisa Snepvangers

My friends still look at me with pity
when we talk about you
and the hurt you’ve put me through

I quit my job
rejected my first apartment
spend weeks crying on my mom’s couch
until my tears dried out
and empty feeling settled in
cause you found someone else

You told me suddenly
‘’when I look at her, I see myself’’
the words still hurt me
but now I can finally see
we were never meant to be
merely here to teach me to love
but resulted in me being afraid to open up 
again

I wrote this 6 years after the breakup. SIX YEARS. I wasn’t sad about him anymore, and I could see that it was a good thing we broke up. But even so, I still had trouble trusting and was still afraid to open up to anyone new. It took me a while to realize how much impact this breakup had on me. But looking back, I’m proud of myself for feeling my feelings when I needed to.

Lisa Snepvangers
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Heart at Stake